VaLENTines: Start of Lent on Feb. 14 puts indulgence, abstinence in conflict for some

Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, just so happens to fall on the day of love. While Catholic leaders say they won't give out exemptions, a representative from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops says the holidays go hand-in-hand with each other.

The Mardi Gras traditions of spending weeks partying and eating king cake all lead up to one day, Ash Wednesday. It's the first day of Lent, the 40-day season, not including Sundays, which leads up to Easter Sunday.

But this year, getting a reservation at the fancy steak house down the street may present a conflict of interest for Roman Catholics.

Father Dustin Dought, the executive director of the Secretariat of Divine Worship of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, told USA Today that it's one of the two days in the year that Roman Catholics are obliged to fast. The other is Good Friday.

"This practice is a way of emptying ourselves so that we can be filled with God," said Dought.

According to Dought, he believes the Church won't give out an exception because Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day ultimately go together.

The line, "Behold the lamb of God which takes away the sins of the world,” John 1:29, refers to the sacrifice made by God and Jesus.

"The Lord tells us in the Gospels, 'No greater love has a person than this, to lay down his life for his friends,'" said Dought. "So when we think of Valentine's Day, we can think of lots of different things. But the image that Jesus gives us is laying down our lives for another person, and that clarifies what Valentine's Day is about."

The rules of Fasting

The rules for fasting for Roman Catholics are different from those in other faiths that ask believers to abstain for food or drink for extended periods.

"In the Church's directions for fasting, she says [to eat] one regular-sized meal and two smaller meals that don't equal that regular-sized meal," said Dought.

There is no specific portion size set in the rule. Dought says it just depends on the person and their state in life. He says it's "relative."

"A full meal for someone who does very intense bodily work may be different from a full meal for someone who doesn't," said Dought.

According to him, the only Roman Catholics who are obligated to fast are people aged 18 to 59.

What does the start of Lent mean for Valentine's Day plans?

Catholics must abstain from eating meat on Ash Wednesday. But it isn't just Ash Wednesday. It is every Friday during Lent, including Good Friday.

"Since Jesus sacrificed his flesh for us on Good Friday, we refrain from eating flesh meat in his honor on Fridays," says the the Archdiocese of Saint Paul and Minneapolis.

William Johnston, an associate professor of religious studies at the University of Dayton, told USA TODAY that abstaining from eating meat is also a form of penance– admitting to any wrongdoings and sins while turning back to belief in God. 

What can Catholics eat while abstaining during Lent?

Catholics might want to trade in the steak house reservation for one at a sushi restaurant.

USA Today reports that on that day, the most popular choice is fish. According to the Archdiocese, the following can be eaten:

• Fish
• Shrimp
• Crab
• Lobster
• Shellfish

However, according to Johnson, buying expensive fish is discouraged.

Those who don't have a taste for seafood can opt for non-flesh animal products, like milk, eggs, cheese and butter.

Couples planning to celebrate the night with a bottle of wine don't have to worry.

Some Roman Catholic couples might choose to abstain from alcohol, but the church doesn't require it.

How can fasting be romantic?

Dought says that fasting is always done with an end in mind. People shouldn't just do it to prove that they can and turn it into a competition. It should be done "out of love for God and of my neighbor."

Someone who fasts on Valentine's Day and eats those smaller portions can save the one regular meal they get that day and look forward to sharing it with their partner. Dought believes that kind of sacrifice and love could enrich Valentine's.

"Fasting is not just about 'me,' but about 'us,'" he said. "So, I think Valentine's Day can clarify what Ash Wednesday is really about, and Ash Wednesday can clarify what Valentine's Day is really about."

He goes on to say that someone who keeps their partner in mind when they practice fasting doesn't just ignite a love for God, but a love for their partner, too.

Contributing: Jordan Mendoza, USA Today